








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4610 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4775 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3223 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3608 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,488,526 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bimper | 58% | 76 |
| #2 | Jesus Kistus | 55% | 66 |
| #3 | LongJohnson | 52% | 316 |
| #4 | JPBRIX | 51% | 306 |
| #5 | Das_Minuskind | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExceSs | 2546 | 0.29 | 63 min |
| #2 | JPBRIX | 1053 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | Bimper | 301 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | LongJohnson | 261 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #5 | Das_Minuskind | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tactilez | +1.83 | 58 | 44 |
| #2 | JPBRIX | +1.65 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | ExceSs | +1.40 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | Bimper | -0.04 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | sSecxE | -0.16 | 53 | 58 |





