








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3666 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3334 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1592 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2514 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,141,573 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J <3 T | 70% | 47 |
| #2 | P.Ness | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | xmin | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | Nekro | 63% | 86 |
| #5 | cheeka | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J <3 T | 70% | 47 |
| #2 | P.Ness | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | xmin | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | Nekro | 63% | 86 |
| #5 | cheeka | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xmin | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | J <3 T | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | cheeka | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | P.Ness | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J <3 T | 315 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #2 | cheeka | 157 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | xmin | 149 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nekro | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | P.Ness | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J <3 T | +7.64 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | xmin | +1.76 | 79 | 51 |
| #3 | cheeka | +0.30 | 50 | 63 |
| #4 | LazyMelon | -0.29 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | P.Ness | -0.72 | 50 | 48 |





