








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 832 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2882 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2899 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4563 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3675 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,974,955 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LazyMelon | 63% | 86 |
| #2 | J <3 T | 57% | 156 |
| #3 | MilkShake | 54% | 100 |
| #4 | Lifted | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | P.Ness | 48% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | J <3 T | 57% | 156 |
| #3 | MilkShake | 54% | 100 |
| #4 | Lifted | 52% | 88 |
| #5 | P.Ness | 48% | 240 |
| #6 | xmin | 48% | 329 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xmin | 53 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | J <3 T | 19 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | P.Ness | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | MilkShake | 14 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Lifted | 9 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xmin | 1140 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | J <3 T | 943 | 0.30 | 31 min |
| #3 | Lifted | 311 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | P.Ness | 264 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | MilkShake | 232 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J <3 T | +6.35 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | xmin | +1.68 | 82 | 53 |
| #3 | MilkShake | +1.24 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | LazyMelon | -0.49 | 58 | 52 |
| #5 | Lifted | -1.15 | 73 | 66 |





