








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 981 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3472 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4347 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3263 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3066 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,076,561 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ♛.baka^ | 46% | 136 |
| #9 | MacMasel | 44% | 36 |
| #10 | V1PER | 43% | 92 |
| #11 | .PA7SN | 41% | 29 |
| #12 | Niegame | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enterprise | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ♛.baka^ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | stilweN | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Niklas | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | MacMasel | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V1PER | 340 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | stilweN | 267 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | Enterprise | 218 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | schnick schnack | 135 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | .PA7SN | 119 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stefan | +1.91 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | Enterprise | +0.87 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | ♛.baka^ | +0.46 | 89 | 51 |
| #4 | schnick schnack | +0.08 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | MacMasel | +0.06 | 64 | 67 |





