








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2951 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2098 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2598 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1862 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,762 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shady | 53% | 160 |
| #2 | Pit | 51% | 183 |
| #3 | oussy | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | xRourii | 50% | 166 |
| #5 | GR1 | 49% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shady | 53% | 160 |
| #2 | Pit | 51% | 183 |
| #3 | oussy | 50% | 54 |
| #4 | xRourii | 50% | 166 |
| #5 | GR1 | 49% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shady | 23 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | xRourii | 20 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Pit | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | GR1 | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shady | 933 | 0.29 | 22 min |
| #2 | Pit | 483 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | xRourii | 456 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | GR1 | 303 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | oussy | 52 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xRourii | +1.67 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | Shady | +0.60 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | Pit | -0.30 | 76 | 55 |
| #4 | chr1s | -0.44 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | GR1 | -1.39 | 73 | 59 |





