








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2127 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1847 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1823 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1805 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,194 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =!+"red*#%- | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | DLA | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | Fre4k | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Orange | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | =!+"red*#%- | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | DLA | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | Fre4k | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Orange | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DLA | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Orange | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | =!+"red*#%- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Fre4k | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DLA | 444 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #2 | =!+"red*#%- | 165 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Fre4k | 70 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Orange | 25 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DLA | +3.94 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | CdM | +1.93 | 88 | 64 |
| #3 | Fre4k | -0.89 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | =!+"red*#%- | -1.61 | 57 | 51 |
| #5 | Orange | -1.79 | 65 | 37 |





