








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3191 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3921 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1858 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3238 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,566,213 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🐷 | 46% | 125 |
| #2 | Remillia | 44% | 242 |
| #3 | ArnoldFreakynegger | 42% | 325 |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | 26% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🐷 | 46% | 125 |
| #2 | Remillia | 44% | 242 |
| #3 | ArnoldFreakynegger | 42% | 325 |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | 26% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArnoldFreakynegger | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Remillia | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | 🐷 | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remillia | 920 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | 🐷 | 621 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #3 | ArnoldFreakynegger | 491 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remillia | +5.12 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | 🐷 | +2.22 | 55 | 66 |
| #3 | Soulscythe | -1.58 | 39 | 60 |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | -2.32 | 14 | 64 |
| #5 | ArnoldFreakynegger | -3.97 | 10 | 43 |





