








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5480 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5581 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3354 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2035 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,188,005 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🐷 | 51% | 233 |
| #2 | ArnoldFreakynegger | 46% | 393 |
| #3 | Soulscythe | 44% | 242 |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | 28% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🐷 | 51% | 233 |
| #2 | ArnoldFreakynegger | 46% | 393 |
| #3 | Soulscythe | 44% | 242 |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | 28% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArnoldFreakynegger | 21 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | 🐷 | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Soulscythe | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🐷 | 1178 | 0.25 | 30 min |
| #2 | Soulscythe | 671 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | ArnoldFreakynegger | 589 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | 132 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remillia | +4.85 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | 🐷 | +2.27 | 52 | 63 |
| #3 | Soulscythe | -2.09 | 38 | 60 |
| #4 | Ian Buckells | -3.25 | 13 | 61 |
| #5 | ArnoldFreakynegger | -4.76 | 10 | 41 |





