








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1007 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 409 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5834 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3200 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5762 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2465 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,921,763 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JE TIRE DROIT OUUUU | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | OK | 53% | 222 |
| #3 | Joker | 53% | 312 |
| #4 | oh le clébard | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Valkai | 49% | 269 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Joker | 53% | 312 |
| #4 | oh le clébard | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Valkai | 49% | 269 |
| #6 | One taped by | 49% | 285 |
| #7 | The Shrok | 47% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | One taped by | 17 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Joker | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Valkai | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | The Shrok | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | OK | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joker | 508 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | Valkai | 384 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | One taped by | 321 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | The Shrok | 318 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | OK | 269 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Марк Leetify | +2.50 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | One taped by | +0.52 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | OK | +0.30 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | Valkai | +0.06 | 68 | 62 |
| #5 | Joker | +0.01 | 71 | 67 |





