










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1362 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1875 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1822 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1861 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,511 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~ z t o t h e s | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Beasty | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | vegan hater2 | 64% | 96 |
| #4 | P L A N K 板 | 63% | 76 |
| #5 | HurgleDurgle | 62% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | P L A N K 板 | 63% | 76 |
| #5 | HurgleDurgle | 62% | 73 |
| #6 | goon goblin | 53% | 59 |
| #7 | . | 52% | 31 |
| #8 | CheddarWrld | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vegan hater2 | 11 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | HurgleDurgle | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | P L A N K 板 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | CheddarWrld | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | . | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HurgleDurgle | 175 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | P L A N K 板 | 148 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | goon goblin | 146 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Beasty | 107 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | vegan hater2 | 92 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | +5.08 | 86 | 21 |
| #2 | 女 | +2.48 | 79 | 44 |
| #3 | ~ z t o t h e s | +1.35 | 56 | 57 |
| #4 | HurgleDurgle | +1.09 | 33 | 62 |
| #5 | vegan hater2 | +0.71 | 63 | 30 |





