








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1242 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1571 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1660 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1270 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,989 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AssistThis | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | wUtiZPoon? | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | 1SpotScott | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | MAZZMURKA | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | ryansky | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AssistThis | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | wUtiZPoon? | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | 1SpotScott | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | MAZZMURKA | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | ryansky | 42% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wUtiZPoon? | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ryansky | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | 1SpotScott | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryansky | 220 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | wUtiZPoon? | 209 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #3 | MAZZMURKA | 76 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | AssistThis | 32 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | 1SpotScott | 23 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wUtiZPoon? | +2.33 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | SlamPIG | +0.82 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | 1SpotScott | -0.10 | 45 | 58 |
| #4 | ryansky | -1.70 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | AssistThis | -1.95 | 65 | 46 |





