








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 955 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 356 matches | ||
| Faceit | 202 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8910 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7900 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4733 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 6022 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,615,763 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iTz ViRG | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | ryansky | 54% | 155 |
| #3 | Lil Laggy | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | The cookie is not a rookie | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | SlamPIG | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | The cookie is not a rookie | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | SlamPIG | 51% | 37 |
| #6 | AssistThis | 51% | 61 |
| #7 | MAZZMURKA | 50% | 235 |
| #8 | 1SpotScott | 49% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryansky | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | 1SpotScott | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | MAZZMURKA | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Lil Laggy | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | SlamPIG | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAZZMURKA | 1560 | 0.31 | 51 min |
| #2 | ryansky | 678 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | 1SpotScott | 227 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | The cookie is not a rookie | 217 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lil Laggy | 216 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wUtiZPoon? | +1.78 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | 1SpotScott | +0.95 | 58 | 56 |
| #3 | SlamPIG | +0.60 | 69 | 57 |
| #4 | The cookie is not a rookie | +0.21 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | ryansky | -0.55 | 66 | 67 |





