








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 895 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6621 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3948 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4570 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4274 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,111,049 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heisen | 73% | 52 |
| #2 | MikkyV | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | VICTIMHUNTER99 | 64% | 130 |
| #4 | milk man | 61% | 57 |
| #5 | tuid | 58% | 137 |





