








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 566 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6867 | 46% |
| Smokes | 3589 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 519 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 3981 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,319 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samael | 64% | 130 |
| #2 | hαmlet | 56% | 129 |
| #3 | heisen | 53% | 154 |
| #4 | MikkyV | 53% | 164 |
| #5 | tuid | 51% | 351 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk man | 29 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | MikkyV | 16 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | heisen | 15 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | hαmlet | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Joel | 10 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samael | +4.52 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | VICTIMHUNTER99 | +4.19 | 86 | 63 |
| #3 | MikkyV | +0.49 | 70 | 55 |
| #4 | heisen | +0.46 | 68 | 45 |
| #5 | hαmlet | -0.16 | 79 | 53 |





