








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1299 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1543 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2114 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1858 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,102,893 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sturm1 | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Monnijonni | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | juho | 60% | 42 |
| #4 | smpa | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | jikkelit0t0 -__- | 58% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | kurwaraider | 57% | 224 |
| #10 | Shivare | 56% | 18 |
| #11 | matku | 52% | 65 |
| #12 | Zefyros | 51% | 41 |
| #13 | All-Seeing Eye | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snaze | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | matku | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | kurwaraider | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | jikkelit0t0 -__- | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | DOGFATHER | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwaraider | 875 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | rAAT0VANKKURi | 751 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | jikkelit0t0 -__- | 288 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | matku | 242 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | snaze | 231 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasane =)) | +2.32 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | smpa | +0.83 | 79 | 51 |
| #3 | snaze | +0.81 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | juho | +0.36 | 74 | 79 |
| #5 | jikkelit0t0 -__- | +0.19 | 78 | 76 |





