








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 228 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 2,234 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4337 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3497 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2742 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2545 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,614,118 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zefyros | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | rasane =)) | 57% | 111 |
| #3 | Pabloescort1 | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | rAAT0VANKKURi | 56% | 142 |
| #5 | kurwaraider | 54% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Monnijonni | 52% | 27 |
| #9 | jikkelit0t0 -__- | 51% | 47 |
| #10 | Shivare | 50% | 42 |
| #11 | matku | 49% | 51 |
| #12 | Pumpernikkeli | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwaraider | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | rasane =)) | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | DOGFATHER | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | jikkelit0t0 -__- | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Pumpernikkeli | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwaraider | 569 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | rAAT0VANKKURi | 546 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | DOGFATHER | 276 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | matku | 174 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | rasane =)) | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasane =)) | +2.04 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | snaze | +1.72 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | juho | +1.31 | 75 | 79 |
| #4 | rAAT0VANKKURi | +0.44 | 82 | 83 |
| #5 | kurwaraider | +0.24 | 75 | 68 |





