








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1974 | 34% |
| Smokes | 903 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1607 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1357 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,152 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starg1azer | 61% | 76 |
| #2 | TempestTF | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Dovy | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | olifur | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | skosgo | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TempestTF | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Dovy | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | olifur | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | skosgo | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | Virtual War Crimes | 45% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skosgo | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Dovy | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | starg1azer | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Virtual War Crimes | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | olifur | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dovy | 164 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | starg1azer | 149 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | skosgo | 117 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Virtual War Crimes | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | olifur | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starg1azer | +4.30 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | olifur | +3.29 | 61 | 58 |
| #3 | Dovy | +2.29 | 63 | 53 |
| #4 | skosgo | +2.23 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | TempestTF | +0.35 | 61 | 63 |





