








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 722 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4371 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2564 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2047 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 966 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $564,280 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hqrxld | 69% | 200 |
| #2 | LeafyTachyon | 64% | 179 |
| #3 | mister mundy (oog) | 63% | 46 |
| #4 | Goxuuuu | 59% | 74 |
| #5 | Walnut | 59% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Walnut | 36 | 0.0259 |
| #2 | Kawaizem | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | LeafyTachyon | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Mew | 8 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | mister mundy (oog) | 6 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hqrxld | 656 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | LeafyTachyon | 192 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Goxuuuu | 56 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Walnut | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kawaizem | 47 | 0.02 | 0 min |





