








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 195 | 22% |
| Smokes | 108 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 278 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 312 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,404 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mister mundy (oog) | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Kawaizem | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Hqrxld | 61% | 66 |
| #4 | legal | 59% | 74 |
| #5 | LeafyTachyon | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | legal | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Walnut | 6 | 0.0247 |
| #3 | mister mundy (oog) | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Kawaizem | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Hqrxld | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | legal | +7.38 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | GILVER | +6.46 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | mister mundy (oog) | +2.28 | 86 | 19 |
| #4 | Walnut | -0.27 | 62 | 19 |
| #5 | Goxuuuu | -1.16 | 50 | 35 |





