








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 816 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Wingman | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4079 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4948 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3020 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2969 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,736,893 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1059 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | BigMoose | 49% | 79 |
| #6 | Kawaizem | 48% | 217 |
| #7 | Walnut | 47% | 127 |
| #8 | Mew | 44% | 111 |
| #9 | GILVER | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hqrxld | 921 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | legal | 813 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #3 | GILVER | 309 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kawaizem | 166 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | BigMoose | 160 | 0.10 | 5 min |





