








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 974 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 550 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 197 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6574 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6909 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8084 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5906 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,150,131 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 723 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Teco | 45% | 178 |
| #7 | MTiger | 44% | 55 |
| #8 | Daniel | 44% | 55 |
| #9 | JohnBr | 43% | 96 |
| #10 | David | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teco | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | JohnBr | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Armado Batista | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | S O N G O K U | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | MTiger | 2 | 0.0017 |





