








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1001 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6305 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6085 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4702 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4722 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,668,013 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taqifaisal | 80% | 165 |
| #2 | farooqoq | 78% | 200 |
| #3 | Enzo | 73% | 224 |
| #4 | Momo | 69% | 466 |
| #5 | AcId-1 | 69% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | AcId-1 | 69% | 233 |
| #6 | UnderWorld-Don | 65% | 147 |
| #7 | Cawbaghelele | 64% | 74 |
| #8 | PantheR-^yw | 55% | 33 |
| #9 | woohoo | 54% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | farooqoq | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Enzo | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | taqifaisal | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Momo | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | AcId-1 | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Momo | 2370 | 0.25 | 68 min |
| #2 | farooqoq | 1080 | 0.28 | 27 min |
| #3 | AcId-1 | 961 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #4 | Enzo | 740 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #5 | taqifaisal | 306 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Momo | +4.37 | 87 | 77 |
| #2 | woohoo | +2.25 | 88 | 60 |
| #3 | Pluto | +1.46 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | taqifaisal | +1.27 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | farooqoq | +1.00 | 86 | 67 |





