








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 602 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1465 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 886 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1139 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,825 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirk | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | William Slur | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Moxxxi | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | LittleJeffIE | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | serieskid | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | LittleJeffIE | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | serieskid | 56% | 25 |
| #6 | 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘳 | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | Nottytheshark | 54% | 212 |
| #8 | ScottishRandall | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleJeffIE | 6 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | Nottytheshark | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘳 | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Moxxxi | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | William Slur | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nottytheshark | 656 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘳 | 115 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | LittleJeffIE | 63 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Moxxxi | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | serieskid | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirk | +2.28 | 63 | 40 |
| #2 | LittleJeffIE | +2.24 | 60 | 49 |
| #3 | Greninka | +1.23 | 59 | 36 |
| #4 | ScottishRandall | +0.54 | 82 | 23 |
| #5 | Nottytheshark | -0.12 | 57 | 61 |





