








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 397 | 22% |
| Smokes | 452 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 601 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 386 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,493 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serieskid | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | LittleJeffIE | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | Nottytheshark | 63% | 51 |
| #4 | 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘳 | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | Greninka | 59% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleJeffIE | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Nottytheshark | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Greninka | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ScottishRandall | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | serieskid | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LittleJeffIE | 166 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nottytheshark | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | serieskid | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘳 | 60 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kirk | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScottishRandall | +5.13 | 80 | 30 |
| #2 | Greninka | +3.26 | 65 | 19 |
| #3 | LittleJeffIE | +1.44 | 64 | 47 |
| #4 | 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘳 | +1.02 | 53 | 64 |
| #5 | Nottytheshark | +0.79 | 59 | 53 |





