








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 13% |
| Smokes | 436 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1232 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,658 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Héros Cosmique | 499 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | Gratin dauphinois | 225 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Aralolz | 200 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kakada | 72 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nido | 62 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Héros Cosmique | +5.52 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | Gratin dauphinois | +3.03 | 71 | 54 |
| #3 | Kakada | -0.04 | 49 | 70 |
| #4 | Nido | -0.17 | 49 | 61 |
| #5 | Aralolz | -1.75 | 44 | 49 |





