








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4369 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4804 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4304 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2919 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,510,649 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 662 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CefsInBlack | 54% | 95 |
| #2 | Gardien de la décharge | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | Nido | 50% | 401 |
| #4 | GalIboyS | 45% | 144 |
| #5 | Xplosion | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gardien de la décharge | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | Nido | 50% | 401 |
| #4 | GalIboyS | 45% | 144 |
| #5 | Xplosion | 41% | 37 |
| #6 | BaltoR | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nido | 43 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | GalIboyS | 19 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | CefsInBlack | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Gardien de la décharge | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Xplosion | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nido | 1899 | 0.23 | 38 min |
| #2 | GalIboyS | 320 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | CefsInBlack | 180 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gardien de la décharge | 100 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Xplosion | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xplosion | +1.18 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Kakada | +1.07 | 50 | 64 |
| #3 | CefsInBlack | +0.97 | 53 | 70 |
| #4 | Gardien de la décharge | +0.19 | 63 | 64 |
| #5 | Nido | -1.33 | 36 | 69 |





