








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 884 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2780 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1527 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2140 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,819,582 of utility $273 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Domi ︻芫 ——' | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | ♡JOKO♡ | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ☯KoT | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | PulseBre4ker | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Moon | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | ♡JOKO♡ | 287 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 | PulseBre4ker | 261 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Domi ︻芫 ——' | 193 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗫 ♡MADNESS♡ | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | ☯KoT | 122 | 0.12 | 2 min |





