








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 330 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,380 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1587 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2560 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2992 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2241 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,834,023 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 968 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clover | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | vladimir, paja y a dormir | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | El Pistolero | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | /// /// PR1MO ツ | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | ✪ FelipeL | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clover | 1190 | 0.20 | 31 min |
| #2 | El Pistolero | 560 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | vladimir, paja y a dormir | 372 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | ✪ FelipeL | 257 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | /// /// PR1MO ツ | 254 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clover | +5.91 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | /// /// PR1MO ツ | +2.29 | 84 | 66 |
| #3 | ✪ FelipeL | +1.18 | 85 | 67 |
| #4 | Fr^ | +0.89 | 85 | 58 |
| #5 | WOLVERINE | +0.28 | 81 | 52 |





