








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1068 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 848 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,232 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5532 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8670 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4411 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 7619 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,450,104 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1637 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | agu; | 69% | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ FelipeL | 69% | 135 |
| #3 | clover | 63% | 570 |
| #4 | /// /// PR1MO ツ | 61% | 132 |
| #5 | Fr^ | 61% | 306 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clover | 50 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | vladimir, paja y a dormir | 22 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Fr^ | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | /// /// PR1MO ツ | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ✪ FelipeL | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clover | 2328 | 0.20 | 61 min |
| #2 | vladimir, paja y a dormir | 772 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #3 | /// /// PR1MO ツ | 635 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #4 | ✪ FelipeL | 510 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | Fr^ | 427 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clover | +5.74 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | /// /// PR1MO ツ | +2.87 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | agu; | +1.54 | 87 | 67 |
| #4 | ✪ FelipeL | +1.29 | 82 | 71 |
| #5 | Fr^ | +0.96 | 84 | 58 |





