








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 82 | 12% |
| Smokes | 239 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 156 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 182 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,966 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slicer | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | ste | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Jokull | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Mökkur | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Hawkaberi | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hawkaberi | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | tbon3 | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | pokarottA | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | Auddddd | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokull | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mökkur | 99 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | pokarottA | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hawkaberi | 53 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | ste | 27 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jokull | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mökkur | +3.56 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | slicer | +3.21 | 40 | 75 |
| #3 | KR Bum King_Tútti | +1.49 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | Jokull | +1.33 | 31 | 52 |
| #5 | ste | +1.19 | 40 | 59 |





