








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 457 | 28% |
| Smokes | 510 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 314 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 357 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,508 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokull | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | ste | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Hawkaberi | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Mökkur | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | TRIX | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TRIX | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | tbon3 | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | ✪ eyziii | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | v1ggi | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokull | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mökkur | 141 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Hawkaberi | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | KR Bum King_Tútti | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | ste | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✪ eyziii | 30 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mökkur | +2.13 | 72 | 75 |
| #2 | ✪ eyziii | +1.41 | 90 | 84 |
| #3 | KR Bum King_Tútti | +0.56 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Hawkaberi | +0.42 | 46 | 66 |
| #5 | ste | -0.21 | 49 | 58 |





