








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2867 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2051 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1074 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1163 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,522 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dav67 | 61% | 67 |
| #2 | Legends | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | Dior | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Jared Fogle | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | jojo ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎ | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Legends | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | Dior | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Jared Fogle | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | jojo ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎ | 46% | 13 |
| #6 | Bubpkis Guy | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legends | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legends | 103 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | dav67 | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | jojo ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎ | 84 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bubpkis Guy | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dior | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SharpnessJuan | +2.47 | 77 | 52 |
| #2 | Bubpkis Guy | -0.16 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | Legends | -0.46 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | Dior | -0.56 | 52 | 63 |
| #5 | dav67 | -0.88 | 57 | 36 |





