








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 539 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2399 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2412 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2157 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1950 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,136 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1093 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wTy | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | vidduonni | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | jöpsykkä | 55% | 119 |
| #4 | Laska | 54% | 126 |
| #5 | Crystalll | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jöpsykkä | 17 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Laska | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | ☣Acéツ | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | vidduonni | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laska | 687 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | jöpsykkä | 366 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | ☣Acéツ | 210 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | vidduonni | 207 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #5 | wTy | 161 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skai | +3.04 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | jöpsykkä | +2.79 | 90 | 68 |
| #3 | Laska | +0.55 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | wTy | +0.53 | 83 | 69 |
| #5 | vidduonni | +0.46 | 69 | 79 |





