








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 199 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3317 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3319 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3369 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3344 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $894,910 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .ADM7 | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | diYA2 | 57% | 220 |
| #3 | dd | 57% | 105 |
| #4 | qq | 56% | 312 |
| #5 | PANNUKAKKU | 54% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diYA2 | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | qq | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | PANNUKAKKU | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | pwner | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | dd | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faker | +1.91 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | qq | +1.00 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | impi | +0.03 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | lyght :x | -0.10 | 85 | 68 |
| #5 | diYA2 | -0.16 | 90 | 67 |





