








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4370 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4896 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4034 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4953 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,557 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azusa | 82% | 38 |
| #2 | 动动小超人 | 74% | 31 |
| #3 | fL1Ck | 70% | 40 |
| #4 | k0nGBu | 70% | 93 |
| #5 | Lussac | 70% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eddie | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Lussac | 10 | 0.0233 |
| #3 | 动动小超人 | 7 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | ikun | 7 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | Azusa | 5 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olivia | 342 | 0.34 | 9 min |
| #2 | k0nGBu | 317 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | eddie | 236 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Azusa | 178 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | fL1Ck | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azusa | +6.87 | 93 | 56 |
| #2 | Lussac | +2.93 | 83 | 43 |
| #3 | ✪PsychoSaint | +2.62 | 58 | 76 |
| #4 | k0nGBu | +2.20 | 78 | 63 |
| #5 | fL1Ck | +2.17 | 85 | 61 |





