








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7757 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5249 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5437 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4173 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,335 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magicGJ | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | Arthur | 78% | 80 |
| #3 | Hello, Im Mercenary | 74% | 233 |
| #4 | T0ufu | 73% | 74 |
| #5 | Azusa | 72% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | k0nGBu | 63% | 52 |
| #15 | eddie | 63% | 40 |
| #16 | 尼哥 | 61% | 59 |
| #17 | 动动小超人 | 61% | 33 |
| #18 | Lussac | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lussac | 30 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ztc | 11 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Azusa | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | ✪PsychoSaint | 9 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | eddie | 9 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello, Im Mercenary | 801 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | Lussac | 475 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Azusa | 289 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | ztc | 288 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | 尼哥 | 267 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azusa | +5.60 | 93 | 51 |
| #2 | Lussac | +3.24 | 88 | 47 |
| #3 | ✪PsychoSaint | +2.59 | 48 | 74 |
| #4 | Frink | +2.33 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | k0nGBu | +1.97 | 73 | 59 |





