








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3133 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4015 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4916 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1427 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,029,483 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | MorbidlyABeast | 44% | 97 |
| #11 | the white howard | 43% | 81 |
| #12 | brothermo | 43% | 28 |
| #13 | swat.cF | 39% | 44 |
| #14 | ChickenFuggets.cF | 36% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gigi datome | 16 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | the white howard | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | peter piper | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | 24-TrackClickSyncd2DaMoogModular | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Merloni | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dequavious Pork | 503 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Gigi datome | 453 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | Merloni | 405 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | 24-TrackClickSyncd2DaMoogModular | 348 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | peter piper | 277 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 24-TrackClickSyncd2DaMoogModular | +3.07 | 78 | 74 |
| #2 | swat.cF | +2.15 | 56 | 72 |
| #3 | Gigi datome | +1.32 | 61 | 74 |
| #4 | Dequavious Pork | +1.20 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | peter piper | +0.70 | 78 | 60 |





