








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 701 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4030 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4302 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3762 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2199 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,871,295 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 716 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bartmane | 48% | 370 |
| #7 | Fl4tLined | 46% | 219 |
| #8 | Gismic_ | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | Schmo Schmoney | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | ᥇ꪶꪮꪮᦔ ᥅ꪖꪜꫀꪀ | 39% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillip | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Bartmane | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | -Juiceeeeee | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Fl4tLined | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Jtman979 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillip | 1286 | 0.28 | 29 min |
| #2 | Fl4tLined | 1243 | 0.26 | 29 min |
| #3 | Jtman979 | 740 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #4 | Bartmane | 733 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | -Juiceeeeee | 365 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gismic_ | +2.00 | 63 | 57 |
| #2 | Bartmane | +1.85 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | -Juiceeeeee | +1.08 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | Jtman979 | +1.01 | 65 | 56 |
| #5 | Phillip | +0.97 | 60 | 57 |





