








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 730 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4044 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8154 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6613 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6992 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,680,813 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unskilled._Mike_ | 56% | 107 |
| #2 | ninetynice | 56% | 91 |
| #3 | Der Preuße | 55% | 80 |
| #4 | Back2hell | 55% | 224 |
| #5 | BoxxyCore | 54% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ninetynice | 56% | 91 |
| #3 | Der Preuße | 55% | 80 |
| #4 | Back2hell | 55% | 224 |
| #5 | BoxxyCore | 54% | 188 |
| #6 | Smith | 53% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Back2hell | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | BoxxyCore | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Smith | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ninetynice | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Unskilled._Mike_ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Back2hell | 303 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | Der Preuße | 257 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Unskilled._Mike_ | 185 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | ninetynice | 151 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | BoxxyCore | 144 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninetynice | +1.79 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | Back2hell | +1.56 | 64 | 73 |
| #3 | Smith | +1.27 | 64 | 71 |
| #4 | Der Preuße | +0.62 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | Unskilled._Mike_ | -0.08 | 59 | 50 |





