








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1957 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2231 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2644 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2032 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,251,894 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninetynice | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | willwhat | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | BoxxyCore | 60% | 65 |
| #4 | Back2hell | 58% | 76 |
| #5 | Ariki | 55% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Back2hell | 58% | 76 |
| #5 | Ariki | 55% | 80 |
| #6 | Smith | 53% | 55 |
| #7 | Stevekl | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | Sweetish | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Back2hell | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | BoxxyCore | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Smith | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Stevekl | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ariki | 116 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Back2hell | 114 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Stevekl | 94 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | BoxxyCore | 51 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | willwhat | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninetynice | +3.73 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | Stevekl | +3.18 | 78 | 79 |
| #3 | Smith | +1.18 | 64 | 74 |
| #4 | Back2hell | +0.67 | 63 | 76 |
| #5 | Der Preuße | +0.18 | 61 | 63 |





