








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 322 | 24% |
| Smokes | 178 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 59% |
| Molotovs | 38 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,988 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Evvox | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Aimiroan™ | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | МΛЯCОМ | 57% | 70 |
| #4 | Bossi | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Th✪mSoN | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | МΛЯCОМ | 57% | 70 |
| #4 | Bossi | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Th✪mSoN | 45% | 29 |
| #6 | pixeaL | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | Rimpac | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th✪mSoN | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Rimpac | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | МΛЯCОМ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | pixeaL | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | МΛЯCОМ | 122 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Th✪mSoN | 89 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rimpac | 34 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aimiroan™ | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bossi | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixeaL | +3.28 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | Aimiroan™ | +2.90 | 63 | 68 |
| #3 | Th✪mSoN | +0.83 | 59 | 65 |
| #4 | Bossi | +0.19 | 62 | 71 |
| #5 | МΛЯCОМ | -0.12 | 63 | 65 |





