








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2018 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3381 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3368 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2775 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,560 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freeze Cat | 50% | 191 |
| #2 | Gambit | 47% | 45 |
| #3 | couch | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | DjWizardshark | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | Argus | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | couch | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | DjWizardshark | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | Argus | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | Zizzitz | 32% | 19 |
| #7 | Dr. Decoy | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freeze Cat | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Gambit | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Argus | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | DjWizardshark | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Zizzitz | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freeze Cat | 332 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | Gambit | 138 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | DjWizardshark | 121 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dr. Decoy | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | couch | 45 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Canada | +0.44 | 32 | 75 |
| #2 | Gambit | +0.09 | 47 | 67 |
| #3 | couch | -0.08 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | DjWizardshark | -0.49 | 50 | 69 |
| #5 | Freeze Cat | -0.90 | 30 | 67 |





