








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1668 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3356 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2466 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2217 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,003,529 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | เมอร์ลิน II | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | kepecirit | 50% | 124 |
| #3 | DewaMax | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | Si Botak | 47% | 77 |
| #5 | Blackwarrior | 47% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ✪ Eindraco ✩ | 42% | 36 |
| #11 | woof | 41% | 79 |
| #12 | BC | 40% | 20 |
| #13 | Proxy | 39% | 82 |
| #14 | i3nu | 36% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Si Botak | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | kepecirit | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | woof | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Ling Ling | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Hīrō | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Buddymaster | 445 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Blackwarrior | 425 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | kepecirit | 241 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | i3nu | 184 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | woof | 162 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BC | +2.56 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | ✪ Eindraco ✩ | +2.31 | 72 | 44 |
| #3 | kepecirit | +1.03 | 32 | 52 |
| #4 | DewaMax | +0.98 | 62 | 50 |
| #5 | Ling Ling | +0.69 | 50 | 49 |





