








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1828 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3694 | 52% |
| HE Grenades | 1098 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 551 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,448 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaxJr | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | ✪ Eindraco ✩ | 60% | 52 |
| #3 | BC | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | DewaMax | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | woof | 51% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Buddymaster | 46% | 50 |
| #10 | Hīrō | 44% | 55 |
| #11 | Si Botak | 41% | 17 |
| #12 | AntiEco | 39% | 82 |
| #13 | Blackwarrior | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ling Ling | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ✪ Eindraco ✩ | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | AntiEco | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Blackwarrior | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | BC | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i3nu | 275 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | Buddymaster | 227 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | woof | 194 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ling Ling | 192 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Blackwarrior | 167 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Eindraco ✩ | +2.84 | 73 | 44 |
| #2 | kepecirit | +2.04 | 32 | 55 |
| #3 | BC | +1.30 | 79 | 44 |
| #4 | MaxJr | +1.05 | 65 | 35 |
| #5 | DewaMax | +1.00 | 64 | 46 |





