








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 764 | 30% |
| Smokes | 353 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 513 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $562,113 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | winnie | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Gromit | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | DopE | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Shero | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | SleepingPaws | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DopE | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Shero | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | SleepingPaws | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | Mr. Virus | 57% | 120 |
| #7 | mosen | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Virus | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Gromit | 3 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | Shero | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | DopE | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Virus | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | DopE | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Shero | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | winnie | 19 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | mosen | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | winnie | +5.78 | 95 | 67 |
| #2 | Shero | +1.79 | 91 | 24 |
| #3 | Mr. Virus | +0.96 | 78 | 50 |
| #4 | mosen | +0.95 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | SleepingPaws | +0.85 | 80 | 24 |





