








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,993 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5518 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3541 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2900 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1034 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,332,542 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griggzor | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | single mom of 17 | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | axom | 52% | 330 |
| #4 | uvenus | 52% | 298 |
| #5 | 1von | 51% | 267 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1von | 38 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | uvenus | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | axom | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Candy 8< ♿ | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Khahyyr | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uvenus | 2202 | 0.35 | 57 min |
| #2 | axom | 2160 | 0.31 | 56 min |
| #3 | Khahyyr | 1219 | 0.23 | 35 min |
| #4 | 1von | 842 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #5 | Candy 8< ♿ | 305 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axom | +2.53 | 89 | 69 |
| #2 | 1von | +0.87 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | THAI MING | +0.13 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | uvenus | -0.19 | 68 | 73 |
| #5 | Khahyyr | -0.87 | 56 | 76 |





