








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 931 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1053 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1697 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1820 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,036 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brutal Parrot | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | uvenus | 48% | 103 |
| #3 | THAI MING | 47% | 180 |
| #4 | Khahyyr | 45% | 126 |
| #5 | axom | 44% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | uvenus | 48% | 103 |
| #3 | THAI MING | 47% | 180 |
| #4 | Khahyyr | 45% | 126 |
| #5 | axom | 44% | 162 |
| #6 | 1von | 43% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1von | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | uvenus | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | THAI MING | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | axom | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Khahyyr | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axom | 1074 | 0.31 | 27 min |
| #2 | THAI MING | 787 | 0.20 | 19 min |
| #3 | uvenus | 757 | 0.34 | 20 min |
| #4 | Khahyyr | 663 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #5 | 1von | 352 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axom | +2.27 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | 1von | +0.66 | 83 | 57 |
| #3 | THAI MING | -0.35 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | uvenus | -0.43 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | Khahyyr | -0.91 | 57 | 76 |





