








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4114 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5586 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4019 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3745 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,855 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Griggzor | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Brutal Parrot | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | ShikiDriki | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | single mom of 17 | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | uvenus | 55% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | russland wojak | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | 1von | 53% | 179 |
| #8 | axom | 51% | 220 |
| #9 | THAI MING | 50% | 247 |
| #10 | Candy 8< ♿ | 45% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1von | 20 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | THAI MING | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | uvenus | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | axom | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | single mom of 17 | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axom | 1421 | 0.31 | 38 min |
| #2 | uvenus | 1261 | 0.34 | 34 min |
| #3 | THAI MING | 1099 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #4 | 1von | 542 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | Candy 8< ♿ | 203 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axom | +2.48 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | ShikiDriki | +1.15 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | 1von | +0.75 | 84 | 55 |
| #4 | uvenus | +0.17 | 69 | 74 |
| #5 | THAI MING | -0.29 | 75 | 59 |





