








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5388 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5430 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2716 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4369 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,754 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello, Im Mercenary | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | Olivia | 72% | 71 |
| #3 | Flip Dundy | 69% | 35 |
| #4 | Twistzz | 62% | 440 |
| #5 | Lussac | 62% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Flip Dundy | 69% | 35 |
| #4 | Twistzz | 62% | 440 |
| #5 | Lussac | 62% | 63 |
| #6 | luke | 58% | 33 |
| #7 | Mrodtv | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twistzz | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Olivia | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Lussac | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | luke | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Hello, Im Mercenary | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twistzz | 756 | 0.09 | 22 min |
| #2 | Olivia | 412 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #3 | luke | 165 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Flip Dundy | 144 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hello, Im Mercenary | 104 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frink | +2.65 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | Twistzz | +2.19 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | Lussac | +2.11 | 90 | 44 |
| #4 | Hello, Im Mercenary | +1.56 | 78 | 67 |
| #5 | luke | +1.00 | 83 | 69 |





