








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3645 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,070 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3100 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2472 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1574 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1924 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,978 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IJqsper_ | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | Nick | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | jazz | 47% | 222 |
| #4 | duxielmxm | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | Meg | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gwyll | 37 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | jazz | 19 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Huzoll | 18 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Vallas | 15 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | duxielmxm | 10 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huzoll | 267 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Distant Quacking | 239 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | jazz | 216 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | T-J | 184 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vallas | 128 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duxielmxm | +5.54 | 91 | 49 |
| #2 | Huzoll | +3.17 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | IJqsper_ | +0.60 | 57 | 61 |
| #4 | bertvc_ | +0.39 | 72 | 31 |
| #5 | T-J | +0.37 | 62 | 71 |





